I've been gone "up north" (otherwise known as going up to Keller). Mike's been half-way around the world. We both got back after a two week separation and did what any loving couple would do (get your mind out of the gutter - I'm not talking about THAT!) We decided to go on a date and see a movie. We have two Alamo Draft Houses here in west Houston (why can't they have an Alamo Coke House? Oh wait, that sounds WORSE!!!). I digress....
Anyway, we went to West Oaks Mall, bought our tickets after a walk up and down the mall (gotta get the circulation going before sitting for a couple of hours eating food that will clog our arteries and further impede said circulation - a pre-emptive move of little benefit I'm sure considering the cheeseburgers, french fries and chocolate shake that was to come) and headed into the theater. I looked on the left side to see our theater and Mike said, "It's over here - on the far right!" So we walk over, walk in and sit down. Now we were there to see "Dan in Real Life". Theater was empty. We ordered food. We watched all the kitch they have before the trailers (why are they trailers when they are BEFORE the movie - shouldn't they be called "leaders"?) and it was like sitting in the Sci-Fi Dine In Theater at MGM Studios, Disney World. All these old gory movies from the 50s, 60s and some 70s. I thought, "hmm, Halloween leftovers?" as it was just this week. I even mentioned to Mike that for a PG-13 movie, the old trailers seemed a bit extreme for possibly having some youngsters in the crowd. Our food comes, we start chowing down and then the aforementioned trailers start.
Now folks, that should have been our 2nd clue - the 1st being the old horror movie kitch while waiting. But no, we sit there waiting, confident our lovely little light movie will be on shortly. And you must understand, there's a good reason I don't watch horror movies - the first being I wasn't allowed to growing up (Thanks, Mom!) and secondly I get nightmares from them. I mean, I can get nightmares just from looking at my American Express bill (okay, NOT a good example...our Amex bill would give ANYONE nightmares). I saw "Carrie" with Cissy Spacek and Amy Irving (Steven Spielberg's first wife - triva for the day) when Mike and I had been married a few years - it was on TV so I thought "how bad could it be?". I couldn't sleep for a week and when I finally did, every time there as a flash of lights from someone's car driving by, I'd wake up and freak out. So there's a good reason to NOT have Cheri watch horror movies (if you live with her and plan on sleeping with her so that narrows it down to about...hmmm....one). So there we are, hope springing eternal, when the trailers come on. I'm again thinking, WHY are they showing this stuff before "Dan in Real Life"?? (have now finished salad and cheeseburger and fries are next). I'm wondering why I even ORDERED food as my appetite is quickly waning in the wake of all this gore on upcoming films. I turn to Mike and ask, "Are we in the right theater?" He says he thinks so. Then the movie starts.
Imagine the surprise on faces of the waitstaff in the lobby when two "early-middle-aged" patrons come busting out of the theater, food in hand, look up at the marquee over the door and see "Saw IV" on it and blanch! "We're in the wrong movie!" They looked at us like we'd spring antlers and say, "You didn't want Saw IV?" (I'm personally thinking at this point, "can't you TELL???" as I'm almost frantic at this point, wondering if some zombie or serial killer is going to follow me out of the theater).
They direct us to the right theater (which was, DOH!, right next door) and we settle in to the handicapped places (it was full by then, movie about to start) and proceed to enjoy a very likeable film (which I highly recommend by the way, not to rub your faces in the fact that we DO go see movies not having little ones anymore - mixed blessings and all that).
Later, after the movie was over, as we walked hand in hand out to the car, we discussed how much the movie was so much fun, how it was nice to finally get a good movie (after several disastrous choices earlier in the year - Wickerman - we actually paid money to see Wickerman - and a dumber movie I've not seen) and finally how EMBARRASSING it was to get the wrong theater. I don't think we've ever done that before but it did give us pause and make us wonder if we were on the cusp of "losing it". But no, I did find the Ladies Room on my own ("in time" I might add), we did find the mall okay, we remembered where we parked and we canNOT seem to forget we went into the wrong theater! So I guess we're okay.
I'm just still traumatized by the trailers....