My uncle sent me this photo that my cousin took in Davis, California. Perhaps they'll stock the breastmilk testing strips too?
16 June 2008
For real??
My uncle sent me this photo that my cousin took in Davis, California. Perhaps they'll stock the breastmilk testing strips too?
15 June 2008
The Golden Rule
I was checking my emails and rota of blogs I read before heading to bed and found this blog entry by Lots of Scotts. I found that I had quite a bit to say on the subject and left quite a long "comment". Upon reviewing it, I felt compelled to address the topic in my blog as well as it is something that I find to be a common dilemma amongst parents - how to reconcile the discipline and authority we have as parents with this very famous scripture which has been given, somewhere along the way, the title The Golden Rule. So indulge me as I share my reply with you on this topic. Because I believe that the development of a child's spirit should, as HGTV likes to tout in their advertising, "Start at home!"
The "golden rule" as we call it (Matt. 7:12) is part of a LONG sermon by Christ encompassing many topics, basically challenging the prevailing "party line" that had developed over many, many years by Jewish priests from the law. He was laying the foundation for the new kingdom, the church, which was soon to be established in Acts. This one particular scripture is commonly singled out and not seen in "the whole cloth" which give it more connotations that it would have singly.
I believe there is an assumption contained within the golden rule that the treatment WE wish to receive is based on a spirit of "what is best for my spiritual and mental well being" vs. "I'll do this so I'll get this". It's directing a proactive vs. reactive action. We are charged, as parents, with bringing up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Nurture - that's what we all want. It's what tomes are written about. It's what gets all the press.
But "admonition" - that's the one we don't want, don't seek and, as the Brits say, "get our knickers in a twist" when we receive. I do not believe that the Bible contradicts itself so, by taking the whole, and laying these commands within the context they are given, we can know what we are to do. We treat others with respect as we also wish to receive. And that admonition? We can lay it down carelessly or carefully which is where that golden rule comes into play.
Children are told to obey their parents. And parents, while told to discipline their children, are also warned against doing so in a manner that is counterproductive.
Eph. 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
So the many "pieces" make up a whole. None can stand alone.
Hebrews 12 starting at vs. 9 sums it up well -
9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
The experience a child has within the family, respecting, loving, obeying, being cared for and disciplined by the parent is SO CRUCIAL to going to that NEXT step in adulthood of being part of God's family - respecting, loving, obeying and being cared for and disciplined by the Heavenly Father. I find it so marvelous this plan that He has.
This is a subject near and dear to my heart. And one that I think it very misunderstood and wrongly applied too often.
The "golden rule" as we call it (Matt. 7:12) is part of a LONG sermon by Christ encompassing many topics, basically challenging the prevailing "party line" that had developed over many, many years by Jewish priests from the law. He was laying the foundation for the new kingdom, the church, which was soon to be established in Acts. This one particular scripture is commonly singled out and not seen in "the whole cloth" which give it more connotations that it would have singly.
I believe there is an assumption contained within the golden rule that the treatment WE wish to receive is based on a spirit of "what is best for my spiritual and mental well being" vs. "I'll do this so I'll get this". It's directing a proactive vs. reactive action. We are charged, as parents, with bringing up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Nurture - that's what we all want. It's what tomes are written about. It's what gets all the press.
But "admonition" - that's the one we don't want, don't seek and, as the Brits say, "get our knickers in a twist" when we receive. I do not believe that the Bible contradicts itself so, by taking the whole, and laying these commands within the context they are given, we can know what we are to do. We treat others with respect as we also wish to receive. And that admonition? We can lay it down carelessly or carefully which is where that golden rule comes into play.
Children are told to obey their parents. And parents, while told to discipline their children, are also warned against doing so in a manner that is counterproductive.
Eph. 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
So the many "pieces" make up a whole. None can stand alone.
Hebrews 12 starting at vs. 9 sums it up well -
9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
The experience a child has within the family, respecting, loving, obeying, being cared for and disciplined by the parent is SO CRUCIAL to going to that NEXT step in adulthood of being part of God's family - respecting, loving, obeying and being cared for and disciplined by the Heavenly Father. I find it so marvelous this plan that He has.
This is a subject near and dear to my heart. And one that I think it very misunderstood and wrongly applied too often.
Happy Father's Day, Mike!
This is me with my mom and dad and sister in Lubbock back in 1959.
The ONLY time you'll see me in a two-piece! Yes, that's me waving
"Hi!" to you, Mike. Yes, I'm the cute brunette on the left - and I
always knew I'd find you.
The ONLY time you'll see me in a two-piece! Yes, that's me waving
"Hi!" to you, Mike. Yes, I'm the cute brunette on the left - and I
always knew I'd find you.
Ah, it's Father's Day! And what is the love of my life, my Chief Friend, and the father of my children doing this glorious day of recognition? He's on a flight to Amsterdam. In all fairness, when the trip came up months ago, he did suggest that I come with him - he'd take some vacation and we'd go to London as well for a few days. That was before our Disney trip in January and the US Dollar went belly-up against the Euro. So rather than spending our retirement for a 10 day trip, we decided...hmmm....no. Sad but true. And today became the only day available on the church rota to host a baby shower for Crichelle (Jordan and Jaxon are still in Texas Childrens but are doing really well - either almost to or at 5 lbs - see www.jclarry.com for details!).
So Mike flies to Amsterdam. I host a baby shower. Not the most auspicious way to spend the day for HIM (but I'll get a couple of those cute little Delft houses KLM give out - yeah, me!). But when he gets back, THAT'S when the goin' gets good! Tim and Megan drive down Friday night with Kennedy and Lleyton for a vacation here. Then Jennifer, Ben and Luke fly down on the following Wednesday to join the party already going. On the following Saturday, we head up to Keller with Jenny and the boys to have a week's vacation getting to see Chris, Jenjer and Mirai. On July 4th, Mirai will have her 1st birthday part at Mike's folks house as we celebrate Independence Day. So I'd say the best is yet to come!
Jennifer, Tim and Chris - I hope you realize how much you mean to your father. Even though he was "on the road" or working long hours as you were growing up, he never flagged in his love, care, concern and prayers for you. And the joy he's known watching you grow to adulthood and finding spouses of your own is beyond compare. Jason, Jenjer and Megan - I hope you know that you are considered our children just as if you were birth children. You have been prayed for since your spouse's youth. Your journey as spouses and parents are of paramount importance to him (as well as myself) and Mike has frequently expressed his deep desire that he have a lifelong close and loving relationship with all six of his children. And to have given this man all these grandchildren is beyond expression! He feels so very blessed, I assure you.
Psalms 127 states it so very well:
3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Happy Father's Day to the man who made me what I am today - a mother (as well as an extremely blessed woman!) :) And Happy Dad's Day to Jason, Tim and Chris - par excellence in the Next Generation. Watch and learn, boys. Watch and learn.
So Mike flies to Amsterdam. I host a baby shower. Not the most auspicious way to spend the day for HIM (but I'll get a couple of those cute little Delft houses KLM give out - yeah, me!). But when he gets back, THAT'S when the goin' gets good! Tim and Megan drive down Friday night with Kennedy and Lleyton for a vacation here. Then Jennifer, Ben and Luke fly down on the following Wednesday to join the party already going. On the following Saturday, we head up to Keller with Jenny and the boys to have a week's vacation getting to see Chris, Jenjer and Mirai. On July 4th, Mirai will have her 1st birthday part at Mike's folks house as we celebrate Independence Day. So I'd say the best is yet to come!
Jennifer, Tim and Chris - I hope you realize how much you mean to your father. Even though he was "on the road" or working long hours as you were growing up, he never flagged in his love, care, concern and prayers for you. And the joy he's known watching you grow to adulthood and finding spouses of your own is beyond compare. Jason, Jenjer and Megan - I hope you know that you are considered our children just as if you were birth children. You have been prayed for since your spouse's youth. Your journey as spouses and parents are of paramount importance to him (as well as myself) and Mike has frequently expressed his deep desire that he have a lifelong close and loving relationship with all six of his children. And to have given this man all these grandchildren is beyond expression! He feels so very blessed, I assure you.
Psalms 127 states it so very well:
3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Happy Father's Day to the man who made me what I am today - a mother (as well as an extremely blessed woman!) :) And Happy Dad's Day to Jason, Tim and Chris - par excellence in the Next Generation. Watch and learn, boys. Watch and learn.
14 June 2008
What in the WORLD??
I was at Babies'R'us yesterday I found this:
What is it you ask? It's a strip that you use to find out if there is alcohol in breast milk before you feed your baby! Evidently, you can go booze it up but being the "responsible" parent that you are and all, make sure you don't intoxicate your baby by passing on alcohol in the breast milk! Which of course makes me wonder about who is taking care of the baby while you're getting all this alcohol out of your system? I admit I am flabbergasted...I would say speechless but my current rant runs counter to that idea.
And I thought the greeting cards by Hallmark about divorce took the cake....
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What is it you ask? It's a strip that you use to find out if there is alcohol in breast milk before you feed your baby! Evidently, you can go booze it up but being the "responsible" parent that you are and all, make sure you don't intoxicate your baby by passing on alcohol in the breast milk! Which of course makes me wonder about who is taking care of the baby while you're getting all this alcohol out of your system? I admit I am flabbergasted...I would say speechless but my current rant runs counter to that idea.
And I thought the greeting cards by Hallmark about divorce took the cake....
12 June 2008
A lovely evening...THURSDAY evening...
One of the perks of being an empty nester is the ability to go out to dinner and a movie without having to procure the services of reliable childcare. Thursday evenings have long been our "date night" although we aren't always able to take advantage of it due to scheduling conflicts. It all started when we lived in the UK the first time (1981-1985) and were learning to live outside of our home country. It was a time fraught with many misunderstandings, much longing for the perceived "familiar", long hours for Mike in London and long hours "in the trenches" with three children for me.
After more than a few mud slinging "conversations" (some of which involved dishware or whatever happened to be close by), we decided we needed QUALITY time to discuss our disagreements. So "date night" was born. Come hell or high water, Thursday nights meant scheduling a "child minder" (which is what they were called then - which I always found a bit backwards - shouldn't the child be doing the minding?) and we'd head out. We might have an argument the entire time, but, by golly, we'd at least have it uninterrupted and get it settled! Now I don't want you to think that we were on the brink of despair or anything. But we WERE only 24 and 26 when we moved to England the first time - with a four year old - and a 7 month old - and soon another one on the way. And for some reason I had it in my head that since ENGLAND was a country that spoke ENGLISH, well, we'd all be on the same page, right?
WRONG!
First of all, it was the Queen's English - not Yankee English. And I didn't know Queen's English. I resisted it with all my might initially. OUR children would eat COOKIES, not biscuits! WE would put our trash in a TRASH CAN, not a rubbish bin. And goodness knows we drink a CUP of coffee, not "a coffee". Everywhere I turned, I was either annoyed or giggling at some different use of the language. "Whilst", "amongst"...other than "angst, if a "st" were at the end of a word it was supposed to be part of an address, right? And "To Let" instead of rent?? I kept thinking there were an awful lot of toilets in London till I figured out it was "To Let" instead. Oh, and a toilet was a W.C. or a Lavatory then. If you asked where the Ladies Room was, you'd get a blank stare. And why did we eat a "TAH-coe" with a "toe-MAY-toe" but THEY ate a "TACK-oh" with a "ta-MAH-toe"?
Then there was getting used to what most Americans like to call "driving on the wrong side of the road". It can be terrifying THINKING about it but once you get behind the wheel, it actually all seems to make sense! The driver is always near the center of the road so once you actually do it, it does come very easily. But, I didn't try driving for about three months - so dwelt on it for three months. I had nightmares of crashing into oncoming vehicles or scrapping the sides of the stone hedgerows usually on either side of the already-too-narrow-for-normal-cars-to-drive-in country lane.
And then there was the house itself - different heating system, different plumbing system, smaller appliances than I was used to - all so, pardon the pun, FOREIGN! I didn't know that a boiler heated not only the radiator water but all the water for the house so you used the water heater only in the summer - when you didn't need to use the radiators. So I put BOTH on and ended up having nothing but hot water in the entire house when the excess of hot water from both sources backed into the cold water storage (up the in attic - another learning curve). I KNEW something was wrong when the toilet water was hot!
Then there was the issue of recognizable food. Today, foods are much more familiar to the global traveler due to increased exports, international restaurant chains, so much travel, food channel recipes, etc. We are constantly looking for new cuisines today but back then, I'd have killed for a typical American hamburger, grilled, using AGED beef. It wasn't to be found and, being pregnant, I was having cravings that only a trip back to Texas was going to satisfy. Believe me, if there had been a chicken fried steak to be had in the breadth and width of the British Isles, I'D HAVE FOUND IT! The dairy aisle was especially fraught with confusion - single cream, double cream, Devonsire cream, cream fraiche, extra double cream...seriously? And bacon - back bacon, rashers, cured, uncured, streaky, danish. Sigh. I'd do a typical American weekly shop which always elicited curious stares by the other patrons. Back then, most British homes had what we'd call a mini-bar fridge and they'd go to their local grocery and buy only what they needed for that day! Our company did provide an American sized fridge/freezer so I was able to do the "big shop" once a week. I had total strangers come up and ask me if I was having a big party - or how many children I had. I felt like a circus attraction! "Come see the GIANT American Lady pregnant with TWINS buying an entire trolley of groceries! You won't believe your eyes!"
All these things were being thrown at us and we were ill prepared for it. Mike was working very long hours (it was his first supervisory position) in addition to a long commute (60-90 minutes each way), I was having morning sickness and trying to navigate my household in unfamiliar territory as well as figure out how the medical community operated, finding an Ob/Gyn in a country where midwives typically delivered babies. So we had some "tense moments". In the course of endless discussions about what was going on, we discovered what we like to refer to today as "truths". I thought Mike had it "easy " in that office where everything was seemingly done for him. Mike thought I had it "easy" being able to be home with the children and enjoy that freedom. I was jealous when he'd go on business trips, stay in an hotel and be on expense account. He was jealous that I didn't have to travel and got to stay home where he'd rather be. We both did our unfair share of blaming the other for not "making it easier" on the other or "understanding". And we both were frightened that we might not be successful at this living overseas things - and we hate defeat. More than once that song from "The King and I" would get in my head - "Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect, And whistle a happy tune, And no one will suspect...I'm afraid!"
I did a lot of whistling.
In the middle of all this, I went into premature labor with the twins - three times in fact. The last time, my waters broke and there was no going back - only "holding off" a bit with medication. So on September 22nd, Chris and Ben were born, 3 months early. Within 5 hours, we had lost Ben and things weren't looking good for Chris - so poorly, in fact, that the hospital decided to move Chris to a hospital with a better equipped SCBU (Special Care Baby Unit - a precursor to today's NICUs) in Oxford. We had no family there. I don't think our parents had even applied for, let alone obtained, passports. And we were being ambulanced to Oxford - 30 miles from where we lived and about 55 miles from London.
But as usually happens, our church family came to our rescue. They contacted the church in Oxford who immediately came to us and helped support us emotionally. Phone calls were constantly being made to us by our brethren at the Wembley congregation in London (where we were members) giving us support, telling of prayers offered on our behalf, asking how to help. We had decided to hire a nanny for a few months with twin coming and she had reported for duty ONE day before I went into labor - she had to literally hit the ground running (which she did with great aplomb!) She was "gobsmacked" (amazed) by the outpouring of love from these church brethren - she'd never seen anything like it! (by the way, she wanted to know more about these people and what motivated them. She became a Christian herself later on that year after studying with Mike and now is married to a minister and has two children of her own - but that's another blog...)
We suddenly had clarity. We knew what was important. And we knew how much we needed each other. We were so very grateful to our Christian brothers and sisters as well as the doctors and nurses who helped us, and I started looking at England in a totally different light. I still am in contact with some of the "sisters" (nurses) who were at Wycombe General Hospital then even though they've moved on to other things (one created the National Bereavement Trust, helping parents through the loss of a child - she was interviewed when Princess Diana died). I was able to stay at the hospital the entire time Chris was there. They had "Mother's Rooms" and felt that mothers and children shouldn't be separated - for which I will be eternally grateful. I came to know the staff at Wycombe General in a very intimate way, talking with then in the wee hours of the morning feeding Chris. We started embracing our new home and her culture instead of resenting/resisting it. And in the process found that acclimating to our new environment was infinitely less painful that stubbornly holding onto the old one.
After we got Chris home and life settled down to a low roar, Mike and I decided to institute "Date Night" on Thursdays. Be it a movie, dinner, theatre in London or just time to talk uninterrupted, Thursdays were sacrosanct in our household. And we were known to, on occasion, circle the block a few times until the lights were off in the children's bedrooms upstairs. Those were the nights when we toasted our victories, discussed and analyzed our failures, planned our future, dreamed our dreams, discussed our children and enjoyed each other fully. It was OUR time.
And we still enjoy Thursdays. We try to go out every Thursday when we can. We've been able to discuss how those dreams came true, which ones we're still working on, how we came to appreciate what our family means to us. We can have those talks anytime now - again, empty nesters. But Thursdays just seem "more specialer" as the kids used to say.
So I hope you have a Thursday of your own in whatever form (or day!) it takes. Time for reflection is always good. Time for rejoicing or sorrowing is good. Time carved out for each other is beyond good - it is essential. Hats off to Thursdays for us! Hats off for time with your best friend, your Chief Friend.
After more than a few mud slinging "conversations" (some of which involved dishware or whatever happened to be close by), we decided we needed QUALITY time to discuss our disagreements. So "date night" was born. Come hell or high water, Thursday nights meant scheduling a "child minder" (which is what they were called then - which I always found a bit backwards - shouldn't the child be doing the minding?) and we'd head out. We might have an argument the entire time, but, by golly, we'd at least have it uninterrupted and get it settled! Now I don't want you to think that we were on the brink of despair or anything. But we WERE only 24 and 26 when we moved to England the first time - with a four year old - and a 7 month old - and soon another one on the way. And for some reason I had it in my head that since ENGLAND was a country that spoke ENGLISH, well, we'd all be on the same page, right?
WRONG!
First of all, it was the Queen's English - not Yankee English. And I didn't know Queen's English. I resisted it with all my might initially. OUR children would eat COOKIES, not biscuits! WE would put our trash in a TRASH CAN, not a rubbish bin. And goodness knows we drink a CUP of coffee, not "a coffee". Everywhere I turned, I was either annoyed or giggling at some different use of the language. "Whilst", "amongst"...other than "angst, if a "st" were at the end of a word it was supposed to be part of an address, right? And "To Let" instead of rent?? I kept thinking there were an awful lot of toilets in London till I figured out it was "To Let" instead. Oh, and a toilet was a W.C. or a Lavatory then. If you asked where the Ladies Room was, you'd get a blank stare. And why did we eat a "TAH-coe" with a "toe-MAY-toe" but THEY ate a "TACK-oh" with a "ta-MAH-toe"?
Then there was getting used to what most Americans like to call "driving on the wrong side of the road". It can be terrifying THINKING about it but once you get behind the wheel, it actually all seems to make sense! The driver is always near the center of the road so once you actually do it, it does come very easily. But, I didn't try driving for about three months - so dwelt on it for three months. I had nightmares of crashing into oncoming vehicles or scrapping the sides of the stone hedgerows usually on either side of the already-too-narrow-for-normal-cars-to-drive-in country lane.
And then there was the house itself - different heating system, different plumbing system, smaller appliances than I was used to - all so, pardon the pun, FOREIGN! I didn't know that a boiler heated not only the radiator water but all the water for the house so you used the water heater only in the summer - when you didn't need to use the radiators. So I put BOTH on and ended up having nothing but hot water in the entire house when the excess of hot water from both sources backed into the cold water storage (up the in attic - another learning curve). I KNEW something was wrong when the toilet water was hot!
Then there was the issue of recognizable food. Today, foods are much more familiar to the global traveler due to increased exports, international restaurant chains, so much travel, food channel recipes, etc. We are constantly looking for new cuisines today but back then, I'd have killed for a typical American hamburger, grilled, using AGED beef. It wasn't to be found and, being pregnant, I was having cravings that only a trip back to Texas was going to satisfy. Believe me, if there had been a chicken fried steak to be had in the breadth and width of the British Isles, I'D HAVE FOUND IT! The dairy aisle was especially fraught with confusion - single cream, double cream, Devonsire cream, cream fraiche, extra double cream...seriously? And bacon - back bacon, rashers, cured, uncured, streaky, danish. Sigh. I'd do a typical American weekly shop which always elicited curious stares by the other patrons. Back then, most British homes had what we'd call a mini-bar fridge and they'd go to their local grocery and buy only what they needed for that day! Our company did provide an American sized fridge/freezer so I was able to do the "big shop" once a week. I had total strangers come up and ask me if I was having a big party - or how many children I had. I felt like a circus attraction! "Come see the GIANT American Lady pregnant with TWINS buying an entire trolley of groceries! You won't believe your eyes!"
All these things were being thrown at us and we were ill prepared for it. Mike was working very long hours (it was his first supervisory position) in addition to a long commute (60-90 minutes each way), I was having morning sickness and trying to navigate my household in unfamiliar territory as well as figure out how the medical community operated, finding an Ob/Gyn in a country where midwives typically delivered babies. So we had some "tense moments". In the course of endless discussions about what was going on, we discovered what we like to refer to today as "truths". I thought Mike had it "easy " in that office where everything was seemingly done for him. Mike thought I had it "easy" being able to be home with the children and enjoy that freedom. I was jealous when he'd go on business trips, stay in an hotel and be on expense account. He was jealous that I didn't have to travel and got to stay home where he'd rather be. We both did our unfair share of blaming the other for not "making it easier" on the other or "understanding". And we both were frightened that we might not be successful at this living overseas things - and we hate defeat. More than once that song from "The King and I" would get in my head - "Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect, And whistle a happy tune, And no one will suspect...I'm afraid!"
I did a lot of whistling.
In the middle of all this, I went into premature labor with the twins - three times in fact. The last time, my waters broke and there was no going back - only "holding off" a bit with medication. So on September 22nd, Chris and Ben were born, 3 months early. Within 5 hours, we had lost Ben and things weren't looking good for Chris - so poorly, in fact, that the hospital decided to move Chris to a hospital with a better equipped SCBU (Special Care Baby Unit - a precursor to today's NICUs) in Oxford. We had no family there. I don't think our parents had even applied for, let alone obtained, passports. And we were being ambulanced to Oxford - 30 miles from where we lived and about 55 miles from London.
But as usually happens, our church family came to our rescue. They contacted the church in Oxford who immediately came to us and helped support us emotionally. Phone calls were constantly being made to us by our brethren at the Wembley congregation in London (where we were members) giving us support, telling of prayers offered on our behalf, asking how to help. We had decided to hire a nanny for a few months with twin coming and she had reported for duty ONE day before I went into labor - she had to literally hit the ground running (which she did with great aplomb!) She was "gobsmacked" (amazed) by the outpouring of love from these church brethren - she'd never seen anything like it! (by the way, she wanted to know more about these people and what motivated them. She became a Christian herself later on that year after studying with Mike and now is married to a minister and has two children of her own - but that's another blog...)
We suddenly had clarity. We knew what was important. And we knew how much we needed each other. We were so very grateful to our Christian brothers and sisters as well as the doctors and nurses who helped us, and I started looking at England in a totally different light. I still am in contact with some of the "sisters" (nurses) who were at Wycombe General Hospital then even though they've moved on to other things (one created the National Bereavement Trust, helping parents through the loss of a child - she was interviewed when Princess Diana died). I was able to stay at the hospital the entire time Chris was there. They had "Mother's Rooms" and felt that mothers and children shouldn't be separated - for which I will be eternally grateful. I came to know the staff at Wycombe General in a very intimate way, talking with then in the wee hours of the morning feeding Chris. We started embracing our new home and her culture instead of resenting/resisting it. And in the process found that acclimating to our new environment was infinitely less painful that stubbornly holding onto the old one.
After we got Chris home and life settled down to a low roar, Mike and I decided to institute "Date Night" on Thursdays. Be it a movie, dinner, theatre in London or just time to talk uninterrupted, Thursdays were sacrosanct in our household. And we were known to, on occasion, circle the block a few times until the lights were off in the children's bedrooms upstairs. Those were the nights when we toasted our victories, discussed and analyzed our failures, planned our future, dreamed our dreams, discussed our children and enjoyed each other fully. It was OUR time.
And we still enjoy Thursdays. We try to go out every Thursday when we can. We've been able to discuss how those dreams came true, which ones we're still working on, how we came to appreciate what our family means to us. We can have those talks anytime now - again, empty nesters. But Thursdays just seem "more specialer" as the kids used to say.
So I hope you have a Thursday of your own in whatever form (or day!) it takes. Time for reflection is always good. Time for rejoicing or sorrowing is good. Time carved out for each other is beyond good - it is essential. Hats off to Thursdays for us! Hats off for time with your best friend, your Chief Friend.
06 June 2008
Drennon Look-alike Meter
MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Geneology - Family name origins
I don't have photos of Mike and I uploaded to iPhoto from when we were in our early 20's (when Tim was born) so just had to use ones from this year. Jen and Megan were doing this so thought I'd play with it a bit.
I don't have photos of Mike and I uploaded to iPhoto from when we were in our early 20's (when Tim was born) so just had to use ones from this year. Jen and Megan were doing this so thought I'd play with it a bit.
Another "Tagged!"
I've been tagged. Rules: Answer the following questions about yourself. At the end of the post you pass on the questions to 6 other people. Write them a comment telling them that they've been tagged and ask them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know that you've accepted the challenge and refer to your post.
Here it goes:
1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Wow, 10 years ago. That would be 1998. And I was in the Republic that WILL be named, Trinidad and Tobago. We had moved there in Jan 1997 leaving Jennifer stateside for the FIRST time - not good for me. The boys were teenagers then, on an island, in a new (and NOT improved) international school, in a country where the "10 Commandments" were really the "10 Suggestions" and where countless conversations between myself and spouse were pertaining to the word "logic" and it's absence in said Republic in most areas of life, liberty and law. We were probably in the process of coming back to Houston for the summer months so I could see Jennifer, the boys could see their friends and go to camp, I could eat Mexican food and drive around without fearing for my life from a careening mini-bus in said Republic. I was also only 41 which sounds SO young now!
2. Five items on today's "to do" list:
-Sleep in (check)
-Eat lunch out (check - bonus points for inviting my mom along)
-Buy groceries (check again)
-Update Quicken (when someplace hot freezes over - NEVER get to that one!)
-Cook a rare home-cooked meal for my husband (groceries above purchased so hopefully this one will happen....but it's early yet...)
3. What snacks do you enjoy?
Raw almonds. Strawberries - fresh and sweet. Homemade sugar-free Blackberry Frozen Yogurt (okay, that's technically a dessert but this time of year a spoonful or two during the day HAS to fall under "snacking" category...)
4. What would you do if you were a billionaire?
What makes you think I'm not already? (why do I hear rolling, loss-of-bladder-control laughter in the background?)
Okay, if I were a billionaire, I'd first get with our financial adviser to set up the best possible way to grow and tax shelter the funds. Then I'd find a bunch more missionaries that need support to work in their chosen countries. I'd set up a university scholarship for children of missionaries to pay for US expenses when they return for college. Then I'd set up a family foundation with a "salary" each year so Mike could retire for good. Then I'd set up trust funds or those 529's (or whatever they're called) for each of the grandchildren's university years. I'd buy each of the children a souped up Honda Odyssey Touring Mini-van, with all the bells and whistles. I'd build homes in the Austin and DFW areas so we could live near the kids and grandkids. And that's just the beginning...
And I'd STILL shop at Target, Neimans Last Call, TJMaxx and Marshall's. But we'd eat out a LOT more! :)
5. Where would you live?
Oh, already addressed that - in the Austin Hill Country divided by time in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.
According to the rules, I am supposed to tag six other people for this thing. But I know only 4 other people who blog enough to possibly follow through with this so I tag Jennifer, Megan, Rebekah and Emily.
Here it goes:
1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Wow, 10 years ago. That would be 1998. And I was in the Republic that WILL be named, Trinidad and Tobago. We had moved there in Jan 1997 leaving Jennifer stateside for the FIRST time - not good for me. The boys were teenagers then, on an island, in a new (and NOT improved) international school, in a country where the "10 Commandments" were really the "10 Suggestions" and where countless conversations between myself and spouse were pertaining to the word "logic" and it's absence in said Republic in most areas of life, liberty and law. We were probably in the process of coming back to Houston for the summer months so I could see Jennifer, the boys could see their friends and go to camp, I could eat Mexican food and drive around without fearing for my life from a careening mini-bus in said Republic. I was also only 41 which sounds SO young now!
2. Five items on today's "to do" list:
-Sleep in (check)
-Eat lunch out (check - bonus points for inviting my mom along)
-Buy groceries (check again)
-Update Quicken (when someplace hot freezes over - NEVER get to that one!)
-Cook a rare home-cooked meal for my husband (groceries above purchased so hopefully this one will happen....but it's early yet...)
3. What snacks do you enjoy?
Raw almonds. Strawberries - fresh and sweet. Homemade sugar-free Blackberry Frozen Yogurt (okay, that's technically a dessert but this time of year a spoonful or two during the day HAS to fall under "snacking" category...)
4. What would you do if you were a billionaire?
What makes you think I'm not already? (why do I hear rolling, loss-of-bladder-control laughter in the background?)
Okay, if I were a billionaire, I'd first get with our financial adviser to set up the best possible way to grow and tax shelter the funds. Then I'd find a bunch more missionaries that need support to work in their chosen countries. I'd set up a university scholarship for children of missionaries to pay for US expenses when they return for college. Then I'd set up a family foundation with a "salary" each year so Mike could retire for good. Then I'd set up trust funds or those 529's (or whatever they're called) for each of the grandchildren's university years. I'd buy each of the children a souped up Honda Odyssey Touring Mini-van, with all the bells and whistles. I'd build homes in the Austin and DFW areas so we could live near the kids and grandkids. And that's just the beginning...
And I'd STILL shop at Target, Neimans Last Call, TJMaxx and Marshall's. But we'd eat out a LOT more! :)
5. Where would you live?
Oh, already addressed that - in the Austin Hill Country divided by time in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.
According to the rules, I am supposed to tag six other people for this thing. But I know only 4 other people who blog enough to possibly follow through with this so I tag Jennifer, Megan, Rebekah and Emily.
05 June 2008
Debbie Downer Strikes Again... or "Why is Everyone So Testy??"
I was reading online about Cheney's "joke" and reading all the reactions made me think about how, as a nation, we are so easily offended by just about anything! I don't know if it's the pending recession, the media exploiting the sensationalist quotient, our lifestyle of having much more than we really, truly need or a combination of all, but I've started noticing just how upset Americans get about almost anything! I think the energy we've expended on expressing our displeasure has become epidemic in proportions as well as become a national pastime. Which of course makes me wonder - how do we appear to the rest of the world? As a bunch of rich, snotty, spoiled children who have more than just about anyone else as a nation but yet are STILL discontent? How do we appear to our children, the next generation of Americans?
We gripe about other people's expressed opinions and how they shouldn't say things (although the freedom to say that is one of the tenants of our Constitution), we berate government officials with their ineptitude, we blast oil companies for "raping the coffers of society and decent, hardworking people all in the name of exorbitant profits" (although I know for sure some of the naysayers are shareholders of said companies and certainly are happy to deposit their dividend checks), we snipe about how people dress, or their weight, or how they keep or don't keep house. It's an endless litany of negativism. And I know I've done (more than?) my fair share of gritching and moaning.
But how much are we improving upon what we gripe about and how much are we aiding in the "fulfillment of self-prophecy"? In business, we are told to visualize what we want 10 years from now (where we'll be financially, emotionally, career-wise) and that keeping that picture in our head subconsciously keeps us working towards that goal. I believe that the polar opposite is true as well. When we live in a mental "downer" environment, NOTHING is going to work out! We are self-defeated before we even hit the front door, or in most cases, before our feet hit the floor getting out of bed.
So I'm thinking today about how much I, personally, am adding fertilizer to the "downer mentality" our nation seems to be raging with. Am I helping or hindering? Do my actions and words speak for promise and improvement or are they compost to the movement for discontent with anything and everything? How much energy am I expending in my "righteous indignation" for things totally out of my control to the detriment of doing things positively and having good, happy thoughts which will bring peace and contentment not only to myself but to others I am in direct contact with? It takes an enormous amount of energy to be mad, as anyone who's had a lover's quarrel will tell you. And even MORE energy NURSING that hurt and resentment. My personal opinion is that America needs to let go of all this negative energy, quit comparing ourselves to our neighbors and do what we can when we can but let the rest of it just GO!
Gas prices are high. They may well continue to be high or higher. Bottom line - either you pay it and drive or cut down on what you're doing. It is NOT a God-given right, in the Constitution, that Americans get really cheap gasoline even though we have been blessed with it for decades. People will say unkind things. But if we let them define WHO we are and HOW we act, their mean-spiritedness will have won out. If we constantly criticize our officials, bosses, the driver in front of us, our children will likewise learn, at the feet of their parents, how to be critical and discontent. I truly believe that as a nation we have elevated 'discontent' to the status of "virtue", thinking that we will appear to be "enlightened, educated and contemporary" in our national consciousness to the rest of the world that we have lost sight of the real prize - peace within, opportunity to improve ourselves, harmony with others, endless material blessings. Shame on us! Democracy gives us rights - but are we going to exercise this liberty to the detriment of ourselves, our families, our good mental health?
The Bible simply states that "a little leaven leaventh the whole lump". So ask yourself - am I "good" yeast or "bad" yeast?
We gripe about other people's expressed opinions and how they shouldn't say things (although the freedom to say that is one of the tenants of our Constitution), we berate government officials with their ineptitude, we blast oil companies for "raping the coffers of society and decent, hardworking people all in the name of exorbitant profits" (although I know for sure some of the naysayers are shareholders of said companies and certainly are happy to deposit their dividend checks), we snipe about how people dress, or their weight, or how they keep or don't keep house. It's an endless litany of negativism. And I know I've done (more than?) my fair share of gritching and moaning.
But how much are we improving upon what we gripe about and how much are we aiding in the "fulfillment of self-prophecy"? In business, we are told to visualize what we want 10 years from now (where we'll be financially, emotionally, career-wise) and that keeping that picture in our head subconsciously keeps us working towards that goal. I believe that the polar opposite is true as well. When we live in a mental "downer" environment, NOTHING is going to work out! We are self-defeated before we even hit the front door, or in most cases, before our feet hit the floor getting out of bed.
So I'm thinking today about how much I, personally, am adding fertilizer to the "downer mentality" our nation seems to be raging with. Am I helping or hindering? Do my actions and words speak for promise and improvement or are they compost to the movement for discontent with anything and everything? How much energy am I expending in my "righteous indignation" for things totally out of my control to the detriment of doing things positively and having good, happy thoughts which will bring peace and contentment not only to myself but to others I am in direct contact with? It takes an enormous amount of energy to be mad, as anyone who's had a lover's quarrel will tell you. And even MORE energy NURSING that hurt and resentment. My personal opinion is that America needs to let go of all this negative energy, quit comparing ourselves to our neighbors and do what we can when we can but let the rest of it just GO!
Gas prices are high. They may well continue to be high or higher. Bottom line - either you pay it and drive or cut down on what you're doing. It is NOT a God-given right, in the Constitution, that Americans get really cheap gasoline even though we have been blessed with it for decades. People will say unkind things. But if we let them define WHO we are and HOW we act, their mean-spiritedness will have won out. If we constantly criticize our officials, bosses, the driver in front of us, our children will likewise learn, at the feet of their parents, how to be critical and discontent. I truly believe that as a nation we have elevated 'discontent' to the status of "virtue", thinking that we will appear to be "enlightened, educated and contemporary" in our national consciousness to the rest of the world that we have lost sight of the real prize - peace within, opportunity to improve ourselves, harmony with others, endless material blessings. Shame on us! Democracy gives us rights - but are we going to exercise this liberty to the detriment of ourselves, our families, our good mental health?
The Bible simply states that "a little leaven leaventh the whole lump". So ask yourself - am I "good" yeast or "bad" yeast?
04 June 2008
Flying these days...
A friend had sent me this awhile ago and then I read in Big Mamas blog about her experience with American Airlines and the baggage charges. So I just had to post this! :)
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